Posted by Trott
We're playing an afternoon show at the Excelsior Playground (Moscow Ave. & Russia St.) in San Francisco on Saturday, November 17. I've begun making my lyrics safe for 5th graders. I don't have lots of swear words in my songs or anything like that. But I am surprised, now that I have to think about each song, at how much use I make of words like
crackhead,
Cannibal Corpse, and
friggin'.
Here are some preliminary lyric substitution plans.
Original:
Heroin junkie, you don't need to get your fix.
Put away your works and I'll show you where to get your kicks.
I know it sounds crazy, but crackhead you know it's true.
You don't need smack when you got yourself a little
au jus.
Modified for child-safety purposes:
Cookie Monster, you don't need to get your snacks.
Put away your Chips Ahoy and I'll show you where to relax.*
I know it sounds crazy, but Muppet, you know it's true.
You don't need Oreos when you got yourself a little
au jus.
*Is it cool to use chillax instead of relax or is that completely weak?Original:
I get suicidal when the 14th rolls around.
Modified for child-safety purposes:
I get kinda restless when recess rolls around.
Original:
Coffee Bear needs coffee now!
Modified for increased child-empathy:
Chocobear needs chocolate now!
Solid Gold JP once had a cover band that played for a bunch of kids, and they realized that a lot of their repertoire wasn't appropriate. They changed Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love" to "Feel Like Skipping Rope."
Let's just say, don't be surprised if we break out a slightly modified Bad Company cover tune.
Labels: shows
Photos by Andrew Goldfarb
